Sad

This week has been hard on the family. WE have realized we aren't independently wealthy (its a bummer too). We are having to make some tough choices here and soon. I know GOd is helping us along, but I wish weren't in this spot at all. We all need a vacation to get away from the everyday stress of life, time to relax and come back with renewed out look on life.

Next semester

I am gearing up for being a full time student. I am taking 13 credits, maybe more, but prob not. I will be taking biology and lab (2 different classes), math, english, psychology, maybe a PE course too, we will see. I am excited. I have my grant to pay for it and my books. Im so happy for the help.

Hunters

My oldest Byron is now an official hunter. He took hunters ED and his daddy took him to get his license. Now all he has to do is actually find a deer and shoot it. Easier said than done. They have gone out 2 weekends in a row and NOTHING. Deer are smart, they are hiding from all the crazy ppl with guns.

CNA

I have completed my CNA class, now on to take my state boards, There are 2 tests that I must pass. Wish me luck!

Facebook

If you were to look on facebook how many friends I have, Im sure it would be incorrect. Yes once upon a time, they were my friends, and I hold each of them dear to my heart, but where have they all gone? If they truly were my friends, wouldnt they really care to reach out? I love facebook, but i want REAL friends, ones who love me for me and no other reason. Ones who want to actually spend time with the REAL me!

Mouring the loss 2

I am struggling. I was in LOVE, I had a great passion for what I was doing. My heart aches, I cry. I want to stand up and scream, WHY ME? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS? Can anyone answer me these questions? My heart hurts, it throbs with pain. :o(

ENGLISH

It been forever (16 yrs) since I have been to college so I am in English 99. I am learning so much and made some pretty awesome friends. It has given me the renewed strength to write my tell all book. The road that was traveled that brought me to this spot in life, I how I here! Sure you may think... what could Holly write about, nothing exciting about her, well you will be surprised!

Life Changes

Has it ever changed! I went back to school in Aug. for my CNA and I enrolled in NIC for my pre req's for the RN program. Right now I am constantly busy with work, school, and trying to be there for my boys. I feel like I barely have time to breath. I miss my family, my husband the most. On the brighter side of things, I LOVE school and I love nursing. I am in clinical's right now. I have gone to work in pediatric's and also in radiology. I love them both and am having a blast. Only 3 more classes scheduled till the big test and then I am off to pass the boards. I am happy GOD brought here to this new career. I hope I will be able to help my family out with the financial burden and to be able to have "fun" money plus be able to support my kids through college when the time comes. I love my family and cant even imagine it falling apart.

A day off

I am so happy that I get 5 days off from work! Makes me happy! I will be spending part of my "vaca" at home doing home work. Oh well, at least there isnt any thing else that I must do. It will be good to relax!

Mouring the loss

I feel like part of me has died. I lost the best thing about me recently and I fear I will never get it back. I have my good days and my bad days and days in between. I feel like the light is fading into the foggy sea shore. My light house no longer has a purpose.

9 more days

In 9 days the boys head off to school once again. Byron will be the new kid at his school again this year. He is in Middle high (7th grade) this year. He will have to walk a mile every day to the bus stop and then home another mile. This wont be bad until he is running late or when the weather is nasty out.

Darrin and Aaron have it a lot easier this year. They are going to a familiar school (same as last year) so they have friends and the same bus stop too! Right in front of our house! YEAH them! They use to have to walk 6/10 of a mile to the stop, I requested at the beginning of the year to move it closer to the house and it took til the last week of school before the moved the bus to the house! WOW! Slow, right? I sure hope Byron's bus wont take that long to get moved.

Twitter

I love Facebook and it took a while but I got the hang of it... can anyone explain to me how twitter works and what its purpose is? Thanks!

Math, English &CNA classes

N.I.C. started last week. So now I am a "real" college student.

I have started math which is so annoying because I once was great at math and now I am in beginners math... so frustrating. Oh well I will be top of the class! I have math on Tues & Thurs nights.

I also started an English class... (Heather you would love it) its creative writing. I only have it once a week. A 3 hour class. I liked my first one but this week we have to read our essays in front and I'm a little bit nervous about it.

My C.N.A. Class is going well. I am learning a lot and loving it. The teacher is great and my fellow students are so kind and nice. I have a huge test tomorrow. I am passing this class just fine, I just wished I was at the top of my class. My sister was 99% in her class. I am less. But then again she is working as a C.N.A so she has more training then I do.

Over all I am doing well and loving it. I am gone to class every day except for on Fri, Sat and Sun.

First day of school

Today was my first day at my CNA class.... LOVED IT. No work really to speak of for the first day. Got to tour the places are clinical's will be at... that was great. I cant wait to get started.

New songs

I have currently written 4 new songs. I am very excited about them. Not sure where they will lead me, if any where, but all the same, I am pleased!

Dinner with Schmucks

Went out on date night last night and saw this movie. It was so funny, I laughed so hard. Even Brett laughed and its hard to get him to laugh at things I find funny! Its a must see!

Sunday

I hate Sundays

Clothes

Aaron put his size 10 pants on the other day and they wont fit. He is now wearing his 3 year older brothers pants that fit him perfectly. He also weighs now 80 lbs. He now weighs more than this older brother. He isnt fat by any means. He just hit a growth spurt. Time to go clothes shopping for school and pack up all his others for his twin cousins.

Hands

Byron put his hand up to my hand this morning and its the same size as MINE! Yikes, he is only 12 1/2. He is going to be a Big boy!

College

I start school tomorrow. With along the CNA class that I am taking I will also be taking math and English. I cant wait. I am so excited! :o) Its been 16 years since I was last at college. Im not nervous (yet)!

Dizzy spells

The dizzy spells have returned once again. I have vertigo. So much fun.

3 days

Wow, only 3 days left til I go back to school to actually start my career. Im so excited!

Byron Part Two

Byron came back from back packing... he LOVED it!!!! Had a blast with grandpa... Came back with lots of fish stories and tons of bites! All in All a good few days away from brothers.

Byron Part one

Byron has gone this week off on his very first ever back packing trip. He went with my dad and was very excited to go. He will be home tomorrow. Cant wait to hear all about it.

"New" Truck

Our family went on vacation to the Oregon Coast a few weeks ago but we only got about 2 hours away from home when our truck engine decided to QUIT and die right there. We borrowed my parents truck and started out again, we made it and had a wonderful time. Brett needed to buy a new truck when we got home and he took his time. God made a miracle happen and chose this very truck for us. He works in mysterious ways.

Pathfinders

I was hurt by a decision to "demote" me in Pathfinders. I have been the director here at this church for 4 years and 2 years some place else. I was asked to be assistant instead of the leader this time. I was so upset I cried and cried. I felt like I got kicked in the heart. Pathfinders has always been very special to me, it like having the huge family I never had. Once a pathfinder always a pathfinder. Well to make a long story short, I told them to basicly take the job and shove it. Then 2 days later I got accepted into the class I needed to get into (that WAS full and I was 3rd on the waiting list) to start my nursing career. I had been praying about this for months, and God came to my rescue. So now I am no longer bitter, and I feel like God has a better plan for me!

School

OK so I am now a nursing student. I start school on Aug. 2 and will get my CNA (certified nursing assistant) in October. Then I will follow up with more college to get my RN! Its going to be a busy 2 years! But I am very VERY excited and have everything ready except my TB test which I will take next week. :o)

MIA

OK so I know I have been missing for a while but that because my internet at work got shut off and that's where i do my blogging from. Today I have a rare opportunity to use the home comp.

Bucket list

OK so here are the things I want to do before I die.

1. Become a master guide.

2. Become a RN

3. Get out of debt

4. Go to Europe and see all the sites

5. Visit every state

6. Have a song published

7. Write a book

8. Go scuba diving

9. run in a marathon

10. Adopt a girl!

15 days

Til the kids are out for summer!

Song

I havent written a new song in quite a while. I need to get back to it. I wrote a song a year ago, that shows my faith in God. I want to write another but am at a loss right now.

Need pump

Oh boy, this day started out on the wrong foot! I went to work and a little while into it, I get a phone call from home saying that our sewer pump has gone out (our house is only 3 years old). I guess there was a toilet that wouldnt flush cause of clogage and when it did go down, then the pump didnt work so all the yucky mess ended up in the basement floor. Poor Brett had to clean it all up (yucky)! Hope the house wont wreak when I get home! eeeeewwww~

busy

For the months of 2010 my business has been very slow, but for the last few days work has picked up so much that I have been busy all day. Hardly have time to sit and think! :o) God is good!

weight lost

I have today finally made it to my first 20 lbs of weight loss. I am HAPPY! I maintained my weight at 183 lbs for a few weeks and now I am on the decline once again. I am now at 181 lb. YEAH for me! :o) If I make it to 160 lb by Aug. 31, 2010 then my dad is taking me on a vacation! YEAH! Even if I dont make it to the goal weight, if I continue to loose weight I will still be a winner! :o) Plus hopefully I will look better in my bathing suit! Oh ya, I also lost 2 pant sizes. When I started my weight loss, I was a size 16 and now I am a size 12!!!!!! :o)

Weekend Fair

This last weekend we went to College Place,WA for the Pathfinder fair. It was so much fun. Got to see family, hang out with awesome kids and worked on my sun tan. It was 85 on Sabbath, sooooo hot. But I came home a lot darker... which was pretty cool. I love Pathfinders.

Nurse

School starts on Aug 1st. If all goes well I will be in that class learning how to be a nurse and getting a better paid job (anything is better than zero!).

Lonely

Lately I have been feeling out of sorts. I feel lonely. I have no one that I can sit and chat with. I feel out of touch. I hate this feeling. I am a chatty person who needs to talk, and when there isnt anyone I feel very lost.

Pant size

When I started my weight loss in Aug 2009 I was wearing a size 16 and today I am happy to say that I am now a 12! I lost 2 pant sizes! YEAH! Made me feel good buy a new skinnier pair of jeans!

I've been stabbed

After the long weekend, of family and friends, I was cleaning up the house. Doing dishes was a never ending chore... I took out the silverware holder from the dishwasher to put the clean ones away when I put it to close to the edge, I went to stop it and I SLAMMED my hand onto a SHARP knife... well needless to say the silverware hit the floor as blood gushed from the wound. I cried out in agony. Thankfully the bone stopped the knife, but it didnt hurt anyless, in fact I would have to say it was worse. Stabbing the bone is NOT something I want to ever repeat! Almost a week later it is feeling better, the bruise is disappearing. It doesnt feel like my hand is broken any more.

Weekend

I am thankful the weekend is here but today I have a TON to do.... My list!

1. Food shopping- Brett went the other day but forgot some items

2.pick up cake at costco

3.clean the main house- well I need to finish this process that I have started

4. clean the kids rooms- guests staying there

5. Go to school- Darrin is getting awards today for good grades

6. pick up my daughter for the weekend

7. set out clothes for tomorrows baptism... find shorts, small white cloth, towel and sabbath clothes.

8. practice song- im singing special music tomorrow and I need to practice so it goes well

9. do laundry

10. Prep food for tomorrow for potluck

11. make sure the boys know what is happening tomorrow.

12. sit back and relax (of course this is AFTER everything is all done)!

13. I need to buy a new book!

Prayer List

If you would, please take a few mins and pray for these items. Thank you very much.

1.my back- still hurts, been going to the dr appts and still I am in pain.

2. Bretts Knee- he hurt his knee (thinks he tore cartilage) it was getting better and he rehurt it again.

3.Darrin- health issues

4. Byron- bullying issues

5. Aaron- he is being a great witness at school, help him to reach the ppl.

6. The boys - They are getting baptized, Praise God, Help keep them strong.

7. Erica- my friend is going through a divorce

8. Amanda- life decisions and to find a job

9. Nikki- her husband and her for their marriage

10. Pathfinders- that we will continue to find more kids & staff to join and be a blessing to others and to be great witnesses.

11. My weight loss- I have been over weight since my last baby was born 8 years ago. I need to get back to a smaller weight of 160 I have 23 more pounds to go.

12. Eric- my friends brother is dying from cancer.

13. Work- both brett and I need work.

14. Schooling- Am i suppose to go to school to become a nurse?

15. My marriage

16. my parents

17. The family war

18. My gramma- to continue to get better. She had heart surgery in Dec 09.

19. My friend Greg- his work, help him get caught up

20. My sister- that she will continue to do well in nursing school

21. my nieces- They are both sick

22. Tina- my pathfinder is leaving after this year. Be with her in all she does, and to heal a broken heart.

23. Finances- I dont know what is in store for us this year, but it doesnt look good. I dont wana be homeless, hungry, or broke. :o(

Thank you for taking the time to pray!

exceitment builds

I am happy to have my family all together for the boys baptism. I wouldnt want it any other way. I will have 17 ppl in my home this weekend and on Sabbath at least 30 to help celebrate bdays! :o) I love entertaining at my house. It so much fun! I am extatic about the boys decision to follow the Lord.

Sunny days

Oh the weather outside is beautiful! I think Spring really has arrived. Today will be 65 and tomorrow 70 degrees. When I get home I am working out in the yard. My peas and my lettuce has started popping up so I guess its time to throw them into the garden. I seeded them in a mini container, that I can directly plant in the ground. I love fresh food from the garden. I was waiting til it stopped snowing and frosting in the mornings, and it looks like it has, so YEAH, im planting my first ever garden. Cant wait to eat the yummy foods. I will also be planting my raspberry plant and planting other items in the garden like pumkins, watermelons, and a wide varity of other yummys from the garden.

Books

I am currently reading the Percy Jackson series! I really have enjoy them. I am almost finished with the set. I cant believe how many books I have read this year alone! I just wished that E.G. White was just as interesting. I have to read a few of her books to get my Master Guide and I am having such a hard time doing it. Blah!

fun

Oh I cant wait for this weekend! We are going rock climbing! I am super duper excited!!!! I went rock climbing last summer and boy was I sore, I used muscles I didnt even know I had (lol). But this time I am 19 lbs lighter so maybe it wont be as hard for me! :o)

Is it me?

I tend to make ppl not like me. What am I doing that makes them turn and run? I dont tell them off, I dont yell at them, I am not mean and nasty... what is it? Do I have any real friends? Do I have anyone who really loves me for me? Where are they? Show me you love me! Tell me you love me! I need approval, I need kindness, I need... love!

Day Thirty-Seven

I am thrilled! Today I weighed myself and I lost even more weight. It is coming off so nicely. It makes me happy to think one day I will have a nice thin body again. I HATE being fat... I HATE HATE HATE it. The problem is that I like sweets a little to much. But right now I feel proud of myself for now weighing 181! That brings my total to 19 lbs, since summer. I have lost 9 lbs in the last 37 days. I hope I can keep it up. I want to go shopping before summer and but all new "HOT" look clothes. :o)

Easter Drama

This was the second Easter Drama that I was in. I really enjoy drama and really loved being in the Easter drama for our church. My heart is sad, This will be the last drama (ever...until heaven) that we will get to be in with our beloved Pastor Dauncey. He told us the news he was leaving and now we are unsure about next year. What will become of our wonderful church drama team and the outreach we do with it? Will someone, ANYONE, take his place so we can continue? I hope so, but even so, it wont be the same! It wont ever be the same again. :o(

My weight

I started loosing weight at the beginning of March today April 5th I weighed myself and I have lost a total of 7 lbs. I currently weight 183#! I am so excited! This month I was going to run, I still might, but the weather hasn't cooperated and I don't want to run in the rain. I hope to continue to loose weight. My over all weight loss is now at 17 lbs. In August I weighed 200# and I hope to never EVER weigh that again! Now that I have lost it, I hope to never find it! :o)

OMG

So yesterday my son Byron found a tick in his head, daddy had to remove it. When I got home I asked Byron if he cleaned it really well... he said YES, cause if you didnt you could get lemon-giteous....
"what?" I asked
" Lemon-giteous " He replied.
I started to laugh.... Lemon-giteous? I think you mean LIMES disease.. I said
"oh ya"!

LOL I was still laughing about this at 11:00PM last night!

Fun night

I had an absolute blast last night. Went to a youth event at another SDA church. It was to raise money and food for the surrounding charities and food banks. All in all I would say the did pretty well. There were lots of ppl there, but the coolest thing was... they brought in snow and they had a snowboard/ski competition (and yes even sledding for the little ones). It was fun to watch them. The food was fantastic, the entertainment was fun, and music "ROCKED", and the body art was exciting! I was talking to a lot of ppl I havent seen in a while, it was good to catch up. The Summit church has a thriving bunch of youth. I was very happy to see how invested they were in "their" kids. If only every church was that "great"! I was glad I went. Thanks for inviting me LEXI!

Its sad

I think its really sad when ppl from different parties cant get along. We all have our own opinion on why we think is best and maybe, just maybe if we talked instead of being HOT under the collar and listen to each others reasons "why" then we would have a better understanding! But since no one is willing to do this, nothing ever will get done! The fighting and hurt feelings will cont. to go on.

Health Care

I am NOT in favor of the new health care reform bill they just passed. I was so depressed last night after they did. This means big changes for my company and hubbys too. This was a HUGE mistake and its going to be to late once the ppl who voted for it, finally figure this out! I sure hope they find out that out STUPID president is NOT an American and they can reverse EVERYTHING last thing he has ever done. He has put our economy in WORST down fall and it isnt going to recover.... this president is NOT what our country needs. What we need is someone who thinks before he acts... who thinks of others first and doesnt put HIS wants before the countries. Florida and Idaho will be filing suite on this bill.... it is going against OUR rights as stated in OUR states.. I know that other state are also following suite. LET stand up for what is right, don't let the government RUN everything part of our lives, don't let them take our freedoms that our ancestors fought so hard for and WON!!!

Day Twenty-two

YEAH..... I am happy to report that I am now down to 184#~ I have lost a total of 6 lbs since I started this no candy and no pop diet adjustment! I am happy. I know that I will be loosing more when I start running and being more active as the season progresses along. I am going rock climbing in a few weeks and I want to loose as much weight as possible before I go. The lighter I am, the easier it will be to lift my butt up on the rocks....lol.

knee

Brett wrecked his knee yesterday, he was just walking along when his knee gave out and now he cant hardly walk. He is headed to the DR this morning to see whats wrong, hopefully its just a quick little adjustment and poof, good as new! He thinks though that something tore... I surely hope not! :o(

Costume

I am in the Easter Drama again this year and this year I didnt have a costume... I am a bigger girl (not just in the waist but tall as well) so the costumes they had just didnt work for me. My mom, Gramma and I all went to Jo-Ann Fabrics yesterday and bought a pattern and material and today my costume will be finished! I love it! Its brown, ya I know, not so pretty but the shall and head dress pieces make it all work together. I LOVE IT! I am so excited that I have my OWN outfit and one that I got to pick out! :o)

School

I hate feeling like I am at a crossroad and if I dont do something soon, all my oppertunities will pass me by. I talked it over with Brett and he said NO to school for now.... not for GOOD but for now. He said I have to pay off my current loan and then I will be able to go to school, so MAYBE (cross my fingers) I will be going to school in the fall/winter!!!

APRIL

I have decided for the month of April I will also be having NO CANDY and NO POP... PLUS I will be running ONCE a day EVERYDAY!!! I am trying to be healthier... I want to look how I used to look... THIN!!! I DONT want to see FAT when I look at my self in the mirror.... So One day at a time, I will eventually reach my goal... My ultimate weight goal is 150... I would LOVE to be 145 but not sure that will EVER happen, but i know I can make 150...

Tattoo

I have been giving in to the idea of a tattoo... I want a butterfly (something way cool) on my lower back...I havent completely decided on this yet, but am considering it. I have wanted one for a long time, But I am not crazy about being poked a million and one times with a needle! Plus the costs are outrageous! So for now I have a plain ordinary back... for now~

Freefall

I have started the 3rd book in the series, tunnels! It is very good. This book is 600 pages, and I am hardly through it. Its taking me some time now since things have gotten a little busier! Cant wait to see what happens. This book JUST came out this month, and they are currently working on book 4 THE CLOSER! They are also say that these books are going to be a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE (soon)! Lets hope! So I reccomend this book and the other 2 previous one to the series, Tunnels and Deeper!

Day Seventeen

I feel like I have failed, I know I havent "cheated" per say, I havent had pop or Candy, but I have had Ice cream.... Too much this week too! My weigh in is at 185# today! I believe it would of been better if not for the ice cream, but well thats in the past.... So YEAH, I lost another pound and am excited to continue to loose weight! Its coming off slowly, so I am hoping this will be permanent!

Day Ten

Today I feel wonderfully alive. I am NOT tired, I feel happy, cheerful and just all around good! The weigh in today is 187#! Yeah on the down ward slope again. I love feeling great. It totally crazy how the pop and sugar messes with you, and how much caffeine makes you MORE tired and less awake! I woke up today for the first time since summer, awake, not groggy like usual! I have been drinking more water too. :o)

Time Travelers Wife

When the movie came out after the book I was bound and determined NOT to watch the movie, cause the books are ALWAYS better, but my aunt watched it and said I needed to watch it, so yesterday I rented it and I LOVED IT. I like the ending SSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO much better in the movie. So if you havent seen it yet, GO WATCH IT~

NEW BOOK

I go to the library wanting something to read... have NO idea what so I start looking at the books pick up the ones that look interesting and I come upon a book called Tunnels by Roderick Gordon and Brian Williams.. it looked and sounded interesting, but the book was HUGE (well for me it was) it had like 400+ pages. I took it home and couldnt put it down. It took me a week to read it cause of everything else that was going on. At the end of the book was a cliff hanger, I hated the way it ended... Last week I was in the mood to read again and remembered that there was sequel to Tunnels, so I went to my beloved book store, and bought a copy of the sequel DEEPER!!! I have had a hard time putting this down. This book is 643 pages long and I am at the 500 mark. I have only had this book for a few days. I think this is the fastest I have ever read a book. I am very proud of myself for doing this. I found out when I bought the new book that there is a 3rd book to the series that JUST came out this month and so back to the book store I will go when this book is DONE! I love the way they write. So good, I feel like I am right there with the kids in the middle of the earth. Oh fun! :o)

Busy Busy

Oh my goodness... I was so busy today! Had a MILLION (ok.. not really) customers today and a 1000 (ok so I am exaggerating again) to pull and send out, it made me happy. I love being busy. Sitting here all day in the office is NOT fun!!! I am tired, hungry and sore now but very happy to sell my materials! :o)

Im Sick

I havent been sick with a cold or sore throat in ages and last week and this week I have this awful sore throat....Feels like there are lumps on sores.... hurts awful bad. Cant wait til its over!

Day Eight

Today is day 8 of my new search for a healthful body. I feel great, no withdraws from the caffine and unless I see the candy I have no desire for it. All in all I am happy that this is going well. Now for a weigh in 188#! I am at a stand still in the weight department but I know soon that will be on the drop again and that is what I am looking forward to! :o)

Stress

Why oh why is there a thing called stressed? WHO INVENTED IT? Ahhhhhh. I hate feeling like my life is falling apart, that things are out of my control. I dont know how to release my stress....

wrestling

B has started wrestling.... He loves it. I think this is a great outlet for him to get his "manly" aggressions out. This is his first week and 3rd day. He says he is having fun! Im glad.

Day Four

Today is going great, No pop, No candy! I did however have a cup cake yesterday but only one and nothing else sweet! I still managed to loose another lb. I am now down to 187# I have been loosing 1 LB per day. YEAH! If this keeps up, at the end of the month I will be at my REAL goal weight! I really want to be like 150 but will settle for 160. But I am happy at this point with ANY lost weight. Hope I dont find it again! :o)

SICK?

I have thought for the last few months my kids have been sick, turns out its really BAD allergies... Both A and D have red sore noses. We started them on allergy meds and nose spray, hopefully they will feel better soon. :o)

Doctor Visit Update

Took D to the doctors yesterday and they said he isnt depressed, BUT he is extremely STRESSED~ How does one 10 year old get so stressed? We were recommended to go see a counselor for him to release his stress! I hope it works... Poor kid!

Day Three

Day three on my new adventurer and guess what? Unless I see candy or pop, I have NO cravings for it! YES!!!! I also weighed myself this morning and I am happy to report that I lost one pound! Now as long as that continues then I will be super happy!

Doctor Day

Today I am taking D to the doctors... it has come to my attention that he too, is depressed. Now 3 out of 5 ppl in my family will be on "Happy Pills" because of depression! Who knew that depression was just a big thing!? Did you know more and more people are getting on depression meds every year? Thank goodness for pills! Ah, to have happy children again! :o)

Day ONE

For the month of March I have decided to give up my bad habits of POP and Candy! Day one is done and working on Day two. I feel pretty good for not having any caffine or sugar. I am needed to loose weight and this is the best way I know how to do it. I will give posted up dates once a week on my progress... as of March 1st I weighed 189#~ The goal is to weigh some where in the 170s! Even if I were to loose 10 lbs, I would be HAPPY!

New Career

I have been thinking really hard lately on what I want to do with my life, I just dont know.... I have been thinking about going into the medical field, but I am not super excited about it... so I am taking baby step and going to work on my CNA, well maybe... its not set in stone yet but this is where I am leaning to for now. Its so hard to know what you want to become when you grow up! (lol)

Proud Mama

I am as proud as a peacock.... my boys have decided to follow Jesus, they are getting baptized!!!! The special date is April 17th! All who know the boys are invited to come and join in our special day!

Home

I am so glad.... My mom, dad and gramma are all home! YEAH! They arrived home yesterday afternoon. My gramma looks so frail and fragile. She went through her surgery like a champ and she said she was never in any pain. Thats good news!

Its a GOD thing

We have begun selling our worldly prossesions... this included our Ford Truck.... Brett put it on craigslist.com and POOF it was sold in less than 10 min!!! That was a God thing for sure.... We have put it on Craigs list during the summer and we got a few calls on it, but no one wanted it, and Brett said this time he just felt like he needed to put it on! I was so surprised, I saw him list it and then a few mins later he said it was sold, I said "nuh uh" and he said he wasnt lying that it was really sold! What an amazing GOd we have!

So HAPPY

OK so I stared out the last week with BAD news and by the end of the week I was on a high. I was debating on weather or not I should close my doors to my business or what to do, then the work started pouring in and now I am riding on a high that I think things will all work out. I am Very Thankful and Happy about it! :o) I hate to loose and hate to give up so for me to concede to failure is very VERY hard for me! Glad its not right now! :o)

Parents

We as parents have a responsibility to tell our children the dangers of life. One of the dangers in life would be SEX! If we dont prepare our child and prep them NOT to have sex before marriage or at least teach them to wait, they wont! We need to tell them the dangers of sleeping around... Pregnancy, diseases, the emotional instability you will have once you start and are not old enough to handle it! PARENTS wake the hell up, talk to your kids, even if you think that its embarrassing.... whats worse, a 15 min talk or grandkids? IF you think its not all the bad, watch 16 and pregnant..... make your teens watch it! Show the reality of having sex and getting pregnant!!!! This is my peeve! Dont ignore the situation.... TALK TO YOUR KIDS!

Pathfinders

Recently I have begun to question weather I should be in pathfinders or not. Is it really worth it? Is this where God wants me? I have decided that I will stick out this year and decide on next year later. If God really wants me there, It will be obviously. But how am I suppose to be a good leader when I am being watched a mistake? There are some waiting for me to fail. Watching for me to fall. I know God is with me, watching over me, taking care of me. But as a human, can I but help to fail.

Work

I am beginning to think that this might be my last year.... the economy is so bad right now that I am having a hard time keeping the doors open. No work = no money = no bills being paid! I am a little sad that my business of 7 1/2 years might come to an end but at the same time, kind of relieved that I wont have to work every day and struggle every day to make this work.... so we will be seeing , but if the numbers continue they way they are , we wont be able to keep the doors open. :o(

Buring

Oh my goodness.... I spent all day yesterday working out in the yard. We are selectivly clearing our property. Brett spent the day cutting and liming the trees while the boys and I built two HUGE fires and burnt acres of wood! It was fun, and the end result looks great, but this morning I woke up and my back hurts so bad today! aaaaah! Time for a muscle relaxer and a hot tub! :o)

Fruits of the Spirit

In my Sabbath school class, we have been studying the fruits of the spirit. First we studied about Joy, Peace and this last week Kindness. I have realized that every week, I can relate to the message we are talking about to my current situation. Kindness.... its easy to be kind to a person who you like, but try being nice to someone who has mistreated you, spit in your face, calling you a liar, and who has no respect for you! Thats where I am today.Trying my hardest to be the person God wants me to be! Trying to do what he would do. I would not be able to do this without asking for his help!

smile???

How do you smile and find joy in the midst of adversity? The bible says you can find joy and peace in the middle of it all. I have found that I have to ask God daily for the peace. Peace isnt natural to me. I tend to be in the middle of a crisis every time I turn around! I hope this is making me a strong person. I hope there is an end game for all the troubles that I have been put through. My life has been turned up side down since I was 12! When i was 14...finally i thought my life was changing for the good, then poof.... we lost everything, had to move into a 24' trailer....moved to Idaho, had no friends, no money, no home, nothing. It was scary. Then I got married at 17! I thought my life was going finally be perfect... got pregnant with our first baby and then once again it turned for the worse... I lost the baby, went into DEEP depression, the fighting started, the screaming, the hitting, the hurtfulness took over my life. I wished my life would of eneded then but God had other plans for me. I have since then had 4 more babies. I have had to work and struggle like hell in my marriage. My husband is in construction and one day we got robbed! They stole ALL the tools. WHAT NOW? How do we make a living? I got in a my car accident.... life took a toll for the worse, I couldnt get out of bed. I was badly hurt, on pain meds and then the depression hit me again. On a daily basis I thought about how to end my life. Would any one miss me? Now I am taking antidepressants and I feel 100% better... I have a wonderful family and God has taken me through it all. so Why now do I find myself in yet another HUGE mess??? A screaming parent, telling me that I am NOT doing my job well, that I act like a teenager... My life has been one HUGE roller coaster hill, ups and downs. When can I get off this ride. When will it ever end? DO I have to wait for Heaven to really be at Peace? Why cant I have it now? I want it now? I live one day at a time... struggling with life, daily asking for Gods help to once again bring me through yet another trying day. I am jealous of the relationship that the ppl in the bible had with God. Some of them got to speak to him directly and walk with him daily. I want that kind of relationship. I want that!

REPORT CARDS

Yup thats right, 2nd quarter is over and the report cards are in! I am so proud of the kids! They worked really hard last quarter and the grades improved a LOT! We made a deal with the oldest, that if he bought all his grades up to a min. of a C then we would get him a new cell phone. Well he did it (finally) so today we are headed to VERIZON to purchase a texting phone for him. :o)

Wii

I am addicted to the wii! I LOVE IT! Every day I go home and eat lunch and play wii. I am hooked on the game NEW super mario bros. I love that its not violent, love how its very kid friendly and the levels are challenging! For me anyhow! I got 99 guys (which it the most you can get) for Darrins game. He is on the 8th level and working towards the 9th level. FUN FUN!!!!

Happy Pills

Oh wow, so I am taking "Happy Pills" ... well I ran out and wasnt able to take some for a few days, turned out I turned into a HUGE "B"!!!! I was finally able to take it this morning and viola I am all better and back to my happy self! LOL! I am so thankful for those pills. Life has been more bearable once again.

February

Its February and instead of snow, its raining and in the 40's! Who would of thought it! Not me, thats for sure. The last 2 winters have been a nightmare with loads and loads of snow and this year... nothing! Its weird how the weather works. I want to go skiing but the conditions are horrible this year and I am not about to spend $60 on a lift ticket plus gas getting there for ROCK skiing! No thank you! I missed out on the 2 best winters for skiing, so maybe after this mild winter we will have a great snow pack next winter so I can go skiing once again. I guess I better save my money!

2010

I was hoping that this year was going to be a fantastic year with lots of rewards and joy! Unfortunately it has started off very rocky! Been threatened, screamed at, punished, harassed, scared, sad, stressed, frightened, and miserable. And NONE of these things were done by family members! This all happened from ONE person. I did the right thing, I REALLY DID! But yet I am still being punished because they think I lied and wasnt a good leader or person. I did what was best for the person at the time. I have prayed every day since for PEACE! Thankfully God has granted me peace.

Happy Happy

I am getting a green house! I am so excited!!!! I wanted a garden last year but we are still working on the yard so we werent ready for a garden. But this year I will be growing my own food! YUMMY!!!! Fresh veggies and fruit! I am also going to learn to make apple sauce and can food! Its going to be a great summer! I cant wait! :o)

work

I dont know how much longer I can sit here NOT working....lol! I know that seems funny, but I come to work daily and pretty much sit on the computer all day. I hope the economy comes back up soon. If not im not sure if I will be able to hold on to the company! Boo!

Birthday

I turned 32 last week. I dont feel any older, other than my hair has taken a dramatic turn for the gray! Oh my goodness, almost the entire top of my hair is gray! I need to dye it and soon. For my birthday I got the most amazing earrings! My sister in law made them for me! If you are interested in COOL and beautiful looking earrings, leave a comment and I will pass on the info to her! Pictures will soon be posted!

w-2

Ok so, ya I'm late...I finally filed my W-2's today.... oh well, better late than never right? I am also getting caught up on all paper work so I can file my taxes! Oh the joys of tax season! BLAH!

Gutters

So my husband installs gutters! They are beautiful. Everything from Copper, aluminum, and steel to 1/2 round, 5" and 6" regular gutters! He does a fantastic job! Look him up on his web site if you need gutters! www.rainmasterraingutters.com .... you wont be disappointed!

Its war

Why is it when I post something that I believe to be true, someone thinks that they half to challenge me?! Republicans vs Democrats!